Area of focus
Couples counseling that looks at the pattern, not just the last fight.
Erin L. Smith, MSPC, LPCC, LPC, works with couples as well as individuals. Couples counseling with Erin looks less at who was right in the last argument and more at the pattern the two of you keep falling into, where it came from, and what each of you can do differently inside it. Faith can be part of the conversation if you both want it.
01Couples counseling
The fight underneath the fight
You can probably name the topics you argue about: money, chores, family, time, phones. What is harder to see is the loop running underneath all of them. Often one partner pushes for a response while the other pulls back to keep things from escalating. To one of you, the pushing feels like criticism. To the other, the pulling back feels like being shut out. Each move sets off the next. A central part of couples counseling is learning to spot that loop while it is happening, so you have a real chance to step out of it together.
02Couples counseling
Two histories in one room
Each of you arrived with a history of closeness long before you met. What you learned growing up about conflict, comfort and whether people stay shapes how you react when your partner goes quiet or raises their voice. A reaction that seems out of proportion to the moment often makes more sense once you know where it started. Resolving childhood attachment injuries is part of Erin's stated mission, and that focus carries into couples work, where old injuries often surface in new arguments. Understanding each other's history does not excuse hurtful behavior, but it can turn blame into curiosity.
03Couples counseling
Anger, repair and being heard
Anger management is among Erin's most experienced areas, which matters in couples work because anger is often the loudest thing in the room. The aim is not to stop either of you from feeling angry. It is to slow conflict down enough that each of you can hear what is underneath it, often hurt or fear. You will also work on repair, because conflict is part of any close relationship and what happens afterward matters a great deal. A good repair names what happened, takes responsibility for your part, and leaves both people feeling a little more understood.
04Couples counseling
Shared faith as a resource
For Christian couples, shared faith can be a real resource: a common language, values you both hold, and practices like prayer that matter to you. Faith-based counseling is one of Erin's most experienced areas, and she follows your lead on how much of it belongs in sessions. You might want faith woven through the work, or kept quietly in the background. Partners do not always want the same amount, and that difference is worth talking about too. Whatever you choose can change over time, with no explanation owed.
05Couples counseling
Couples counseling in person or by telehealth
Couples in Kentucky can meet with Erin in person at her Georgetown office. Telehealth is also an option, with one rule that matters: each partner has to be physically located in Kentucky, Arizona or Minnesota during the session. Licensure follows where you are sitting, not where you live or where your insurance was issued, and that applies to both of you. If one of you travels often, it is worth planning sessions around it. The free 15-minute consultation is a good place to ask how sessions would be set up for the two of you.
Signs this is the right page
- The same argument with a new topic
- One of you pushes while the other goes quiet
- Small comments landing like big insults
- Feeling lonely while sharing the same house
None of this is a diagnosis, and no outcome is guaranteed. It is a starting point for a conversation.
Questions
Common questions
- What if my partner is not ready for couples counseling?
- You can start on your own. Individual sessions give you room to understand your side of the pattern, try different responses at home, and get support while you sort out what you want. If your partner decides to join later, that can be talked through at the time.
- Will insurance cover couples counseling?
- It depends on your plan, so ask your insurer directly how couples sessions are covered. Erin's in-network plans are Anthem BCBS, United Healthcare and UMR in all three states, plus Aetna, Humana and Medicare in Kentucky. Plans and networks change, so verify your benefits before the first session.
- What if one of us is afraid of the other?
- Couples work depends on both partners being able to speak openly without fear of what happens at home afterward. If that is not the case right now, joint sessions may not be the safest starting point. On the free consultation, Erin will be honest with you about whether couples work fits, or whether another kind of help would serve you better.
In Erin's words
What she would say if you called today.
With couples, I start by building a real connection with each of you, because that is what makes the work possible. We set goals together in concrete terms, I give you honest feedback about the pattern I see between you, and when something we try is not helping, we change course.
Free 15-minute consultation
Book a consultation with Erin
Fifteen minutes by telehealth, at no charge. You can describe what is going on, ask how Erin works, and decide afterward whether to book a first session. Scheduling opens in her secure SimplePractice portal.
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